I went back to my old Multiply account ... and realised I have posted quite a few things there. And when I came across this post, I knew I had to "duplicate" it here. Guess it is a good "introduction" to the beginning of Nic & San. :)
The date of post: August 11, 2007 (Wow! So long ago!)
The venue: My old blog
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I was very blessed by this week's CG message, especially when it came to the first part - the discipline of affection!
It is really very true - that we choose who or what we place our affection on. And it applies to not just our walk with God but also every other aspect of our lives.
Not sure who said it... but I like the phrase "Choose what you love... and then love what you choose."
I think it seems so easy yet... practically not so easy to apply in our lives. The first part is the easy one, yet maintaining any relationship takes a lot of work, and continually making the choice over and over again.
Coming from a relationship that (before our marriage) lasted 7 long long long l-o-o-o-o-n-n-g years, and spanned two different continents for a good 4 1/2 of those 7 years, I know of many friends and more acquaintances of both mine & Nic's that are quite amazed (stunned... skeptical... lots of adjectives to insert here...) that we are able to maintain a long distance relationship. I even remember a cell group leader commenting (very insensitively, I might add...) that he DOES NOT (and somemore must emphasize those two words!) believe in long distance relationships. Haha!
How did we do it?
Haha... The short answer: God. Longer answer: One day at a time, one month at a time and one year at a time.
I never thought I would be able to make it through. I don't think Nic was very confident either. Step by step, I think God prepared both our hearts for Nic to leave for his studies. Before he first went over, I think for about three weeks before he first went over, I was quite the emotional wreck. Haha... it is funny now, when I think back. But then, whenever we were out together, happily eating or just walking around, I'd suddenly remember, "Man... two weeks more before he leaves for Syd..." and then start tearing immediately. I cried every single day during this period... be it when I was with him or at home alone... whenever the thought came to my mind.
Every time I sent him off at the airport, seeing him go through the gates, would make me cry buckets. The thought of not seeing him for another 6 or 10 months... The thought of him being all alone over in Sydney, working so hard to earn his living expenses & without his family with him... Sigh, it would really make my heart break. But slowly but surely, my very fragile heart learnt to cope! YES - I would still cry buckets each time, but I would learn to recover fast too. Hahaha... We both learnt and grew and experienced so much individually, that whenever we talked on the phone, we will be yakking away at what happened in church/cell group/work/school...
Ah well... there is no perfect relationship. We have had our fair shares of quarrels and tiffs. But looking back, I think we can both thank God for being there for us, and allowing us to pull through that period, so that now, we can appreciate each other even more.
But this message on the discipline of affection really brought about many good (and also sad) memories about our relationship. I know of so many good friends whose relationships have ended or are on the rocks... And I really do feel so, so much for them. To give up on a relationship because of petty differences (or worse... a so-called change of heart...) is so, so sad. Hai...
Of cos, I'm not saying our relationship is a beaming tower of example... But, I guess, it is one where commitment (to God and to each other) played a huge part in keeping our relationship strong and healthy. It is not just about the amount of time you spend with each other, or how often you meet (Nic & I NEVER ONCE used a Web-cam to 'see' each other in all those 4 1/2 years! Hahaha! Laziness... yeap!)... but it is probably in the quality and not quantity of communication & attention.
Though I always joked I had an "ABA" (Active Boyfriend Absent...), yet to his credit, Nic never made me feel like I was all alone! Haha... Despite the 2-hour time difference & me being a perpetual night-bird, he would stay up till 3am his time to chat with me when I reached home @ 1am! During daylight savings months, the time difference would be 3 hours, and that r-e-a-l-l-y stretched him to the max!
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And more than two years later, I am glad to inform that we're still happily married, with our Prince to complete our little family!
Some past pictures (what is nostalgia without photos!)...
My gorgeous wedding @ the Roof Garden of CHC.
Audrey, ME & Jun! At the dinner over in JB... (Cos of all our friends that went over to JB for the dinner with us, the dinner was a great success & loads of fun!)
Nic & San & his University Medal (F-i-n-a-l-l-y! Graduation day!)
