I never imagined myself to enjoy motherhood. Or to be a mother, truth be told.
I like kids well enough. But I also find myself getting a headache when they get all whiny / rowdy / silly / noisy…
And it’s not like I am such a responsible person.
I don’t even have a cat. Or a dog. Or hamsters. Nor do I like animals in general.
So you see, I don’t have that kind of “homely” or “nursing” kind heart. I like my fun and my freedom, both financially and in terms of my time.
It is almost exactly two years ago when I first found out I was pregnant.
You know how the movies always show the woman either delirious with delight or fainting with shock?
So not true in my case.
Nic was the one who suspected I may be pregnant. Me? I thought I was just super tired from two long weeks at work. So he dragged me to the pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy kit. I chose the cheapest one there (all the time thinking it was a waste of money), and even scolded him when he wanted to buy a two-pack kit. That night, I went to bed without trying out the kit. I wasn’t very interested after all.
The next morning, I was off from work and home alone, as Nic was at work. So I decided to try out the kit. I figured out how to use the thing, and I was reading the instructions, and I still remember the kit said that even if the vertical line was faint, it would mean I was pregnant. Well, my vertical line was as solid as anything.
I called Nic, and half in shock, told him that hey… what do you know… I might just be pregnant. He made me go visit a neighbourhood gynae to check, which I reluctantly agreed to. I was quite prepared to wait another week or so though. Haha! But that same afternoon I trudged down to the clinic. I sheepishly explained to the gynae that I took the kit and thought I might be pregnant. See, even now I thought that there was still a possibility I might be wrong. How accurate can an off-the-shelf kit be anyway? I was thinking the gynae would make me take another test. But noooo….. she made me lie at the examining table, and poured some jelly on my belly and started the ultrasound. I mean… I was shocked. Then she pointed to this fuzzy blob on the screen and said that was my baby. I had to squint to see that blob. It was this shapeless thing. Hardly looks anything like a baby.
Pregnant? Me? But yet a few more months down the road, there Jayvon was. My darling prince.
My “passport” to motherhood. With my sweet-cute-naughty-heart melting-lung screaming bit of a boy. I survived through sleepless nights, holding my bawling baby in my arms, stomach upsets, hurling and burping, hospital visits, teething and drooling, knocks and bumps and bites and scratches … Yeap, been there, done that, taken the photo and gotten that T-shirt.
Despite my initial apprehensions, I thank God for giving me such a healthy, smiley, cheeky little fella! He makes all that work (and boy, is it WORK!) worthwhile! It is my high calling…
Doctors have their Hippocratic oaths. Moms get inducted by a similar oath too! I think it should go something like this:
“I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:
I will respect the hard-won knowledge and experience of those mothers in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.
I will apply, for the benefit of mothers, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of sparing the rod and spoiling the child.
I will remember that there is parenting is an art as well as a science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the best of child psychology or ‘parenting books’.
I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in fellow mothers when the skills of another are needed for a child’s upbringing…
… But it is also be within my power to raise a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must pray to God always, for His grace and wisdom...”
And so, here’s wishing all mothers a very very happy Mother’s Day! :)
